Where the F#@& have I been? And a Maybelline Mascara Review

06 June 2013

So, I know, I know. My last blog post was like...frickin' three months ago. And I am so, so sorry for that! I hope to never get this far behind again. Unfortunately I don't have regular access to a computer, so I will probably be stuck with a single blog a week, but that's better than nothing, right? Hopefully? Gosh, everyone, I feel like a huge douche. :(

First off, I DO have a tablet but I can't edit my blog photos on said tablet, so that doesn't do me much good. I have an Influenster review that I desperately need to get up ASAP but after that, nothing much. So where have I been? Well, school partly. This past semester kicked my ass.

Also, I started a new, old job. I work at Ulta Beauty and I recently transferred stores. Unfortunately, I'm still living in my old city so I have a nice hour long drive. There's a lot of stuff I could say about that, but...yeah.

Finally, hockey. Omfg, hockey. It has consumed my SOUL, guys. Now, as I've mentioned before, I was essentially born and raised in the shitty state of Michigan. So obviously, I am a huge Red Wings fan. And my team made it much further in the Stanley Cup playoffs than expected, so I've pretty much been glued to a TV. Now, as people might know, we lost in OT in game 7 to the Chicago Blackhawks, but the playoffs aren't over yet! I've been kind of obsessive with hockey this year...not quite sure why, haha.

Actually, it's probably because we have some really hot players. And, you know, I love hockey as a sport. It's the only one I can stand watching, actually. My parents are both native Detroiters, so it might have been inevitable that I would love the Red Wings! Seriously though...Michigan does hockey right.

Brendan Smith, #2 defenseman. What can I say? I want the D.

Anyway, I've been paying an insane amount of attention to the Pittsburgh - Boston series. I'm not a fan of either team...actually, I dislike both. Butttttt...I'm certainly no Blackhawks fan. Personally, I want the LA Kings to win the Cup again.

Okay, enough of that.

Before I start the actual point of this post, if you like hockey, you can watch what I'm watching, haha. Pretty sure the Penguins are gonna lose in 5. (I'm trying to be generous here, I don't want to call a sweep, but...let's be real here...) But here's the first game! Just a warning - NBC's coverage is just fucking biased shit. They spent the whole time during round 2 being astounded by everything the Red Wings did, as if they weren't supposed to make impressive plays. Of course this game was a shut-out, so they lose a bit of their Pens love, but it's still there. Actually, when Boston closes this series, I hope NBC's shitty biased reporters cry themselves to sleep, TBH. But I digress.

Also, if you like hockey, makeup, and cats, feel free to follow my Instagram or my Tumblr.

But really. Enough of that shit. Let's get to the point of this post, which is a


on a new Maybelline mascara. The Volum' Express line has an addition to their The Falsies® branch called Big Eyes® It's funny because when I first bought The Falsies® when it came out, I hated it. But I recently bought it again and I love it now! Go figure. Anyway, this new mascara reminds me a bit of some of the Asian mascaras or the Guerlain one that have two sides; one for the upper lashes and one for the lower lashes.

Okay, I find that disclaimer sticker pretty funny. "Don't dilute with water or saliva." What? LOL.

Okay, let's go over what Maybelline has to say:

Revolutionary dual-ended Mascara for 360° all around Lash Glam. Two brushes specifically designed for top and bottom lashes. Special quick-dry formula holds lashes in place.


Now get bigger, wide-open eyes with 360 degrees of lash glam volume! The Upper Brush pushes lashes over the top while the lower Micro-Brush grabs every tiny bottom lash for a full circle effect.


Apply the Upper Brush against the top lashes and sweep from root to tip until a clean, voluminous look is achieved, followed by the lower lash line using the Micro Brush. Do not let dry between coats. Removes with soap and water or with Maybelline® Clean Express!® Classic Eye Makeup Remover."

Here are a couple pictures of the brushes:

Upper lash brush.

Lower lash brush.

I want to start off by saying that I absolutely love the lower lash brush. If you've ever used the Maybelline Lash Discovery mascara, the wand is very similar. I think the brush might be a bit shorter but they're about the same width. The lower lash mascara is pretty good. I feel like the formula might be a bit different, but it's probably exactly the same, haha. The brush is fantastic for defining and darkening the lower lashes and adds a bit of length+volume too.

I'm not as crazy about the upper lash brush. It's a regular bristle brush, not a plastic one, but I wish the brush was like the one that is in the original Falsies mascara. This one is...strange. The brush has a curve in it, but if it didn't, it would have two flat sides and two bristled sides, if that makes any sense. The bristles are a bit prickly, which I'm not crazy about. The formula is very wet...it adds great length, but the only volume you really notice is because the formula forms spider lashes really fast. It's a bit clumpy too. This is the newest mascara I've tried since the Covergirl Clump Crusher one, which I actually like. But this one...It's not BAD, but I'm not crazy about the way it looks.

Overall, mascaras work differently for different people, haha. If you have thick lashes, this might add a decent amount of length. It's not incredibly buildable, but it doesn't flake or smudge. It feels really strange when you touch your lashes...almost like dried latex? It feels...squishy...still, not stiff or solid. I don't use waterproof formulas, but this one wears a pretty decent amount of time. If you have short lashes like me...you probably want to stay away.

Left side (my right eye) - mascara, right side (my left eye) - bare lashes.

Left side (my right eye) - mascara, right side (my left eye) - bare lashes.

This mascara wasn't SUPER expensive; I found mine on an endcap display at Walmart for like...$6 or $7? I don't HATE this mascara, but I'm certainly not crazy about it. Then again, YMMV.


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